Tell A Tale in 500 Words

Transition from the AM By Millie Dunne

I was always one to hide my emotions until they'd spiral out of control; I'd wait until my feelings were physically holding down my chest and stopping me from breathing to physically care. That didn't mean I didn't cry often, because, oh, I really did, but I'd simply brush my tears away from my face and refuse to tell anyone about the way I was feeling. It was only when I met a boy over the course of a few months was I consumed fully by it. Two minds a little too messed up and a little too broken mashed together was never bound to work, not when either of us could glue the other back together. So I resorted to staying awake until the sunrise during the summer. 4am was filled with dark shadows and confused thoughts and the large and visible wreckage I had been able to hide from so many people. 4am was a time where I felt I belonged, I felt like all broken things were drawn to such an early hour; I craved that feeling of wanting to see in the dark, I craved wanting to wait until the sun rose above the estate across from my home and prove to me that I was in fact alive - even if I didn't feel it. It got to the point where I was dependant on the hour, and it wasn't healthy I admit, my body clock was in uproar and my mind was running on low gas. This lasted for months. Past the summer, past wanting to see the sunrise. I never fully got over it until I had met someone who made me want to change. But boy, he really made me want to change. I'm not sure whether it was his eyes or his words or the way he'd make things sound so poetic and like I was in a book. He told me I belonged with him, and I believed it because I knew deep down I did not belong to 60 minutes in the early morning like 4am. He physically changed me. I hadn't been to sleep at 4am in months since knowing him, I did not have the urge to keep my eyes awake longer than past 1am unless I was with him and we were talking about the stars or books or his damn video games. He changed me. It's like I became a whole new person after he walked into my life; I wanted to prove to him and to myself that I wasn't the mess I had grown to believe I was. I am whole. I am changed. I never want to see the sunrise at 4am again. I'm not saying you can't help yourself, because you really do have the power to - but let people in. Let people see your hurt and I promise they will help. I was helped. I don't belong in that hour anymore. I am changed now, and it feels so very good.


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