Tell A Tale in 500 Words

Persona Non Grata By ANDREA Walker

|Persona Non Grata

If my marriage was adapted into a play I would’ve been cast as the baddie, for the longest time. Blind to how my husband played me against our sons, with commands such as “Make sure they’re in bed before I get in!” so that I’d reluctantly comply, only for him to return later and shout “Did she send you to bed early again lads?”. Such a cruel but effective trick.

So I ended my marriage to this liar, realising he’d no clue how to love or care for anybody but himself. Afterwards, he set to work on our sons. I gave them routine, wholesome food, love and security. He bought them ‘stuff’, fast food and allowed late nights. I gave stability, he offered dissension, disguised as power!

My eldest left first. I became persona non grata, unloved, despised, disrespected. I didn’t understand what I’d done, other than be, his mum. My middle son followed suit, although choosing to stay with me, he fired the bullets, his father loaded verbally. Then the ultimate horror, the most sensitive of the three, my youngest, also demanded to leave. He too now viewed me with the same contempt as my eldest son. I was heartbroken, I grieved for my babies, I needed to find out what this thing was, that had permeated my life for the past 8 years?

Researching, I found names for my plight, such as ‘Parental Alienation’ or, ‘Pathogenic Parenting’. I discovered that this happens when one parent, usually exhibiting undiscovered traits of a sociopathic narcissist, attempts to turn a child against a perfectly loving parent, as a form or revenge for control.

I found many parents like me, whose children had also been brainwashed, just as mine had. I found that Family Courts and Social Services fail to recognise this very real plight, so that sane loving parents lose contact with their beloved children, sometimes forever. I found this out because fighting in court to hang on to my son, I too was told I was wrong and my son knew his own mind and more horrifyingly, that his father was a capable parent. Within days of him leaving, the Contact order was broken and my hell began. So, I determined to educate as many people as I could and lobby to change laws, to spread light onto this dark practice.

So this is my story, you are part of my change. Does anybody in this theatre audience recognise this as happening in their life? If so my advice is as stay strong as you can and help me fight to get this hell recognised. If I can help just one person understand what Parental Alienation is, in this way, then my trying to make a difference will count for something! So, help me free these children, they will need professional help to realise that underneath it all they do still love us. Make change happen, help me become a reunited mum instead of an erased mother!

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