Tell A Tale in 500 Words

I Do Not Care By Jasmine Clark

I do not care if who I am makes you feel uncomfortable or sick. I do not care if you do not think that my 'lifestyle' is right or not. I do care that I do not feel safe because of who I am. No matter how I chose to identify. No matter what or who I believe in. No matter who I love. I am entitled to feel safe and secure no matter what. It is my right as a human.

Sometimes when I am walking at night I can feel the darkness. I can feel it watching me and judging my every step. The trees tower above me and look down telling me they are superior. My mockers burden me as I walk down the street. The whole ordeal worsens if I sense somebody else walking towards me. I can feel the tears as they grow in my eyes. Only just holding themselves back like soldiers waiting for the right moment to attack. My breathing gets slower and deeper as I try to tell myself calm down, my body rarely listens and bring myself to the brink of a panic attack before...

This insecurity I feel on a daily basis is the reason I am living a lie. The darkness and fear have captured my true self and they are keeping it at bay. But I have had enough. I have enough of not being me.

It is exhausting. Pretending to be somebody you're not, just to keep your mind at rest, is exhausting. Sleepless nights and restless sleep. Tired eyes and dark circles lead to questions from friends who wonder how I am.

"I am fine." Lies.

"Just tired." Painful lies are all I can tell them.

Somewhere, at some point in the future, all of this will change and I won't be in this mess of a situation. The darkness will not be watching and the trees will not be mocking. I will not have to live a double life and I will be happy. One day, somebody will love me regardless of my identity. Just at the thought of the future, my mind breathes a sigh of relief.

I will be safe.

I will be whoever I want to be; I don't care if it makes you uncomfortable or sick. I will live my life my way; I don't care if you think it is right or not. I will identify myself in the way I want to. I will believe in whoever or whatever I choose to. I will love whoever I want.

Because, quite frankly, I do not care what you think.

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