Tell A Tale in 500 Words
Hope hides screaming By Fay Deller
Hope hides screaming
Jayne looked at the post on Facebook. Two beautiful faces beaming with love and happiness gazed back at her; she felt tears sting her eyes although she was smiling. Finally, Tina had found something worth living for.
All those years being chased by shadows, the scars on her arms from elbow to wrist, how many times had she sliced her skin trying to relieve the pain she felt. How much darkness had encompassed her throughout her life. She had been afraid to go out, afraid of the Doctor, the social worker, the latest psychiatrist, people that were supposedly there to make things better but never stayed long enough.
This wonderful photo of contentment warmed Jayne’s soul. Tina smiling broadly, eyes glowing with love, the little blonde head that looked almost bald, with the moustache dummy in his mouth that made him look like a little old man, made the picture even more precious.
Jayne relaxed into her seat thinking back to the letter, she had read it only once, folding it, putting it back in its envelope and tucking it into the top drawer of her bedside cabinet, she looked at the outside many times, but never, ever read it again. She hadn’t needed to the words were etched into her brain……..‘His friend held the gun to my head in the back of a car while he raped me, I thought he was my boyfriend, sometimes he’d put a snooker ball in a sock and hit me with it’.
Tears were rolling down Jayne’s face again; she had subconsciously wrapped her arms around herself. The day she first read it she had thrown up and sat in this same position, only that time on the toilet, rocking backwards and forwards. Wracked with pain, rage and helplessness, she had been sworn to secrecy but wanted to go and find the little shit and beat him senseless.
All those years, 28 of them to be exact, Tina had been imprisoned by her mind, the booze and the weed, to try and help her find peace. The fights and the tragedy of her three children passed around from here to there.
Tina’s parents had custody of her son, but he slid off the rails a long time ago. Jayne remembered the eldest girl being sent to her uncles at 8 years old with a message ‘Mum says I have to come to you because she doesn’t want me anymore’.
The family tried hard, taking turns until social services stepped in.
They say the devil you know, by 16 both daughters had found their way home to their Mum, and slowly, very slowly she started to improve.
At 18 the eldest was pregnant.
Tina found it too much to deal with.
A little try of heroin, the weight fell away.
Seems something stayed clear when her grandson was born. Methadone seems to be keeping her level these days and those pictures, well they speak for themselves.
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