Creative Comedy Project

Not from round here By Myra Appannah

KALA - YOUNG ASIAN WOMAN

JAZ - OLDER, AFGHAN MAN



TWO CHAIRS AND A PLASTIC TABLE WITH A PLASTIC FLOWER IN A CHEAP VASE IN THE MIDDLE. KALA ENTERS, ELEGANTLY DRESSED. SHE SWINGS HER HEAVY HANDBAG ONTO THE TABLE KNOCKING OFF THE FLOWER.



KALA: (TO NO ONE) Oh sorry.



SHE WHIPS HER MACBOOK AIR OUT IN A HURRY.



JAZ: (APPROACHES, PICKS UP THE FLOWER) Hello.

KALA: Hello.

JAZ: Not seen you in here before.

KALA: No. (BEAT) I’m not from around here.

JAZ: I can see that. Where are you from?

KALA: London.

JAZ: (LAUGHS)

KALA: (LONG PAUSE) Where are you from?

JAZ: Afghanistan. 16 years. So where are you really from?

KALA: London.

JAZ: Not with that beautiful skin huh?

KALA: I moisturise regularly and barely go outside during

daylight hours.

JAZ: Sri Lanka? India? Pakistan?

KALA: London.

JAZ: What would you like to drink?

KALA: Cup of tea please.

JAZ: Of course. What sort?

KALA: Just normal.

JAZ: Normal? Do you mean English Breakfast Tea?

KALA: Well, yes.





KALA BEGINS TO TYPE FRANTICALLY. JAZ WATCHES HER FROM BEHIND THE COUNTER THEN BRINGS THE TEA IN. SHE DOWNS IT. AFTER A MOMENT SHE LOOKS UP, TRYING TO CATCH JAZ’S EYE.



JAZ: Hello. Hope you’re not going back to wherever you came from already?

KALA: Just another tea please.



JAZ BRINGS OVER ANOTHER TEA.



JAZ: Here you go. One English Breakfast tea. (SITS AT THE TABLE WITH HER).

KALA: (QUICKLY DRINKS THE TEA). I’ll have another.

JAZ: Really? Another English Breakfast Tea?

KALA: No, not really. I just thought I’d keep ordering until you told me where the tea was really from. Sri Lanka? India? Pakistan?

 


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