Creative Comedy Project

Finding Jenny By Louise Young





The Living Room.



BECKY and SIMONE two women in their mid 20’s are sat around a laptop.







Simone: (pointing to the laptop) Look! She’s a stripper now!







Becky: (clicking on laptop) Wow! Her body is unreal! Is that… money?!







Simone: She’s amazing.







Becky: Urgh. Urgh. No.







Simone: What?







Becky: She’s got ‘Dance Like Nobody’s Watching’ painted on her living room wall. Oh Justine. Justine, Justine. Where did it all go wrong?







Simone: Let’s look at Gary’s profile.







Becky: Why?







Simone: Just to see what he’s up to.







Becky: (typing) To make sure he’s doing terribly?







Simone: No. I wish him all the best. Honestly.







Becky: Really?







Simone: Yeah, it’s bad karma if I don’t.







Becky: Ah right so if karma didn’t exist…







Simone: Then I hope he’s lost his job and been savaged by a hippo







Becky: (motioning to laptop) Nah, he’s set his profile to private. Look. That’s all you can see, his profile picture.







Simone: That’s a picture of his dog.







Becky: Well thank god for that.







Simone: That’ll be to get girls.







Becky: It’s an attractive Labrador. (Clicking.) And he’s put a picture up of some cliffs.







Simone: Hmmm.. well I did break his heart.







Becky: Right enough. Let’s search for people from school. Let’s see what Sam Lawson is up to.







Simone: No! … Jenny Dwyer!







Becky: Oh my lord Jenny!







Simone: I wanted to be her in school y’know!







Becky: (typing frantically) Everyone wanted to be her!







Simone: So talented, so glamourous!







Becky: She was beautiful – even when she had conjunctivitis. She was so clever, but not swotty like she smoked and stuff.







Simone: She was wise. Jenny was wise.







SIMONE points somewhere on the laptop screen and BECKY shakes her head.







Becky: She was the first person to listen to Sonic Youth in our year.







Simone: She made me want to go out and buy a Sonic Youth t-shirt.







Becky: (typing and clicking) She made me realise I wanted to be a musician.







Simone: She made me realise I wanted conjunctivitis.







Becky: She made me realise I was gay.







A beat.







Simone: I wonder where she is now?







Becky: Probably the CEO of a major corporation.







Simone: Married to a Sheikh.







Becky: No. I can’t find her.







Simone: Maybe she’s on twitter. Where she can comment on current affairs.







Becky: (clicking and typing) Or maybe LinkedIn with a list of her wonderful achievements.







Simone: Maybe she’s dead.







Becky: No! Not Jenny!







Simone: You know who I want happiness for?







Becky: Jenny! She’s just so modest, so deserving.







Simone: Yeah...and also because of karma. You have to.







Becky: She’s nowhere. (Clicking and typing.) Maybe she’s changed her name hold on…. OH MY GOD! Here she is! She calls herself Jennifer now.







Simone: (gasps) Oh of course. She’s blossomed now. She’s a woman.







Becky: (gasps) WOW!.... Here she is.







Simone: Oh my life! What adventures is she having?!







Becky: (clicking) She…let’s see. She works in… recruitment… in Wigan.







Simone: Oh.







THE END











 


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