Creative Comedy Project

Finding Jenny By Louise Young

The Living Room.

BECKY and SIMONE two women in their mid 20’s are sat around a laptop.

Simone: (pointing to the laptop) Look! She’s a stripper now!

Becky: (clicking on laptop) Wow! Her body is unreal! Is that… money?!

Simone: She’s amazing.

Becky: Urgh. Urgh. No.

Simone: What?

Becky: She’s got ‘Dance Like Nobody’s Watching’ painted on her living room wall. Oh Justine. Justine, Justine. Where did it all go wrong?

Simone: Let’s look at Gary’s profile.

Becky: Why?

Simone: Just to see what he’s up to.

Becky: (typing) To make sure he’s doing terribly?

Simone: No. I wish him all the best. Honestly.

Becky: Really?

Simone: Yeah, it’s bad karma if I don’t.

Becky: Ah right so if karma didn’t exist…

Simone: Then I hope he’s lost his job and been savaged by a hippo

Becky: (motioning to laptop) Nah, he’s set his profile to private. Look. That’s all you can see, his profile picture.

Simone: That’s a picture of his dog.

Becky: Well thank god for that.

Simone: That’ll be to get girls.

Becky: It’s an attractive Labrador. (Clicking.) And he’s put a picture up of some cliffs.

Simone: Hmmm.. well I did break his heart.

Becky: Right enough. Let’s search for people from school. Let’s see what Sam Lawson is up to.

Simone: No! … Jenny Dwyer!

Becky: Oh my lord Jenny!

Simone: I wanted to be her in school y’know!

Becky: (typing frantically) Everyone wanted to be her!

Simone: So talented, so glamourous!

Becky: She was beautiful – even when she had conjunctivitis. She was so clever, but not swotty like she smoked and stuff.

Simone: She was wise. Jenny was wise.

SIMONE points somewhere on the laptop screen and BECKY shakes her head.

Becky: She was the first person to listen to Sonic Youth in our year.

Simone: She made me want to go out and buy a Sonic Youth t-shirt.

Becky: (typing and clicking) She made me realise I wanted to be a musician.

Simone: She made me realise I wanted conjunctivitis.

Becky: She made me realise I was gay.

A beat.

Simone: I wonder where she is now?

Becky: Probably the CEO of a major corporation.

Simone: Married to a Sheikh.

Becky: No. I can’t find her.

Simone: Maybe she’s on twitter. Where she can comment on current affairs.

Becky: (clicking and typing) Or maybe LinkedIn with a list of her wonderful achievements.

Simone: Maybe she’s dead.

Becky: No! Not Jenny!

Simone: You know who I want happiness for?

Becky: Jenny! She’s just so modest, so deserving.

Simone: Yeah...and also because of karma. You have to.

Becky: She’s nowhere. (Clicking and typing.) Maybe she’s changed her name hold on…. OH MY GOD! Here she is! She calls herself Jennifer now.

Simone: (gasps) Oh of course. She’s blossomed now. She’s a woman.

Becky: (gasps) WOW!.... Here she is.

Simone: Oh my life! What adventures is she having?!

Becky: (clicking) She…let’s see. She works in… recruitment… in Wigan.

Simone: Oh.



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